Saturday, July 02, 2005

Transcript of Marlon's Service

Cathy Thomas was incredibly kind to have recorded & transcribed Marlon's service.

Memorial Service Sharing and Celebrating the Life of Marlon J. Solar
June 29, 2005
Service given by Rabbi Rachel Schoenfeld

Teach Us to Treasure each Day (song)
Rabbi Rachel Schoenfeld:
Marlon Solar. Words can’t describe him fully. Words can comfort, and our memories can encourage us. We are here today, all of us together. Look around the room at this amazing crowd of people that Marlon’s life has touched.
Look at this amazing crowd of people to whom Marlon’s life has added something.
Added smiles, added fixed appliances, fixed bikes, added joy, added rides in all kinds of vehicles, added all kinds of enthusiasm, all kinds of smiles, all kinds of love and it is an amazing testament to him that you are all here.
We are here today to shape meaning out of Marlon’s life. We are here to celebrate his life and to mourn his loss. We are here to share support among his family and among his friends and to get to know each other and to share the love that he has touched each one of us with.
In our service today we’ll use songs, we’ll use silence, we’ll use readings, we’ll use our memories. The sheets that are passed around have some readings on them and some songs. So feel free to just put them down right now, and we’ll get to the songs and readings and memories later.
Welcome. Welcome to Marlon’s mother, Mary Lynn Brado, to Marlon’s sister Amy Brado and Tony Sambucci, to Marlon’s sister June Troxel and brother-in-law Gary, to Marlon’s Uncle Gerry Zeigler and Rita and Marlon’s nieces who Marlon loved and played with, Ivy and Lindsey and Janine and Marlon’s nephew, Gary, also mourns Marlon. Of course looking around the room we know Marlon had a huge extended family, both biological and emotional and we welcome each other as Marlon’s family.
Today we also remember ones who are no longer with us in the world. We remember Marlon’s father, Alan Solar and we remember Marlon’s recently passed great Aunt Dolly, and great Uncle, Howard Jones, great Aunt Claire and Marlon’s grandmother Dorothy Zeigler.
Of course we are all here remembering Marlon J. Solar and remembering his name. Remembering his name in the greater sense. How his name impacted all of us. Impacted the world around us. Influenced the very fabric of our lives, the fabric of our existence.
Please join me on your sheet reading number 2
Each of us has a Name. …

Marlon J. Solar was born 31 years ago. Only 31 years ago, in Woodbury New Jersey. His Dad worked at the Federal Reserve Bank and Dad of course rode a motor cycle. His Mom worked part-time and his Mom’s Mom helped take care of Marlon.
He was an unusual kid. I met with Marlon’s Mom and Marlon’s sister Amy, yesterday to share some memories and his Mom told me, describing Marlon "He was unusual about Everything, Always". At 4 years old he read newspapers an in 5th grade at Maple Shade elementary school he was proclaimed at genius level. In his Mom’s words he always had a unique way of knowing so much about absolutely everything.
Marlon went on to Vocational Technical School, high-school for clothing fabrication. Many of us know that making things has always been a love of Marlon’s and at this vocational school he got, of course an award, for making the sparkly shirt that he still wore and where he also made his famous bunny suit.
After high-school he spent a year at Burlington County College in a Liberal Arts degree and this is where he first enacted his love of radio. He worked for his first radio station, WBZC, an eclectic music show called "Get the Funk out of Bed". We are gonna laugh a lot today. So much laughter. Marlon found his Dad during high-school, after being separated, and when his Dad got sick during Marlon’s first year at the Liberal Arts degree, Marlon dropped out of his college program to go take care of his Dad in Florida.
When Marlon got back from Florida, Marlon didn’t take a typical path. But instead, Marlon pieced together a life for himself that made him happy and allowed him to immerse himself in everything that he loved and immerse himself in giving, to friends, to family. I knew Marlon from one of his diverse loves, from contra dancing in Glenside. We danced together many, many of a Thursday evening, as did other people in this room.
Marlon passed from this world this past Saturday from a sudden heart attack. He had had a heart the condition for a while but it was sudden to everyone. Only 31. So many from Marlon’s family and community are here today. And instead of speaking all myself I’d really like to invite so many of you who knew Marlon so well, so deeply, so long, to speak and share memories, share stories, share what you loved about Marlon, share the values that you learned from him that you are going to carry on in your own life. Share his hopes and dreams and how we will all continue to enact them. I’d love to invite his sister Amy to speak first about her brother Marlon.
Amy:
I’ll warn everybody in advance that I’m a horrible public speaker. And that even the 23 years of memories that I’ve had with Marlon, I’m having a horrible time trying to piece them together into something that is actually understandable to anybody else. But, I’ll read you what I have so far.
As I was sitting down to write this I was wondering how I could ever memorialize twenty three years of Marlon. I have not been good with words these past few days and to write a speech that encompasses so many memories feels impossible.
I showed my daughter Marlon’s pictures yesterday and she just laughed and smiled. She really loved him. Who else would play beauty shop and let a three year old put hairclips in their goatee? I pulled Ivy around the yard yesterday in the wagon Marlon had given her for her birthday. Just a few months ago I remember him sitting on my bedroom floor, hairclips in his goatee patiently explaining to a group of under five year old children exactly what tool this was, what this tool or part was, how it worked, just like he was speaking to adults.
When I was growing up I always followed my big brother around. Marlon’s 8 years older than me and I’m sure I must have gotten on his nerves at some point but he never showed. He was always incredibly patient and he always taught me things and when I was a little bit older, my friend Dianna and I, he had helped us make pillows and she had used purple satiny fabric and she was turning it inside-out and she still has that pillow.
Quite a few of you have known Marlon always with the shaved head and the very groomed goatee but in his high-school years he was the exact opposite. He was very hairy. He never shaved, he didn’t brush his hair and he had this little white pet rat, named Amelia Earhart. And this little rat, we’d put her on the floor and he’d put his hand out and she’d run up his arm and sit on his shoulder. He brought her to school and the rat sat on his shoulder in his hair, it was a rat’s nest after all.
And I remember Marlon making his own insulation or winter gear for riding his motor cycle since he rode it no matter what weather. And the hood he had it was very close fitting and it reminded me of a roach. And of course the bunny costume, all that.
So I want to thank everybody for coming. Its just amazing to me how many lives Marlon touched and it means a lot, a whole lot to our family. Thank you very much.
Rabbi Rachel Schoenfeld:
Standing here a few minutes, I realize there are so many people here standing and there is all this sitting room up front, so I’d like to invite anybody standing or in another room who’d like to come and sit. A lot of room to be closer if anybody wants to rearrange. All this room over here. Orchidia do you want to speak now?
Orchidia:
This is over whelming to see everyone and I really thank everyone for coming here. I really feel like Marlon is really here in the room with me with all of us and when I look around here before I share what I was about to share here, Marlon was just brilliant in the way he just didn’t stay with the groups, he just roamed between all sorts of people and all different types of people, I think that was very, very special about Marlon besides being a talented and gifted individual.
Marlon what I remember most about you is a vivacious young man full of energy and light. I remember a multi-talented person who ranged in abilities from being a brilliant seamstress-tailor to a talented auto mechanic. I remember a man who when confronted with something he either did not know what to do or how to do it, improvised. I remember a man with a huge heart who loved people of all ages and all walks of life, a man who did not discriminate, a man who gave everyone a chance. I remember a funny, confident person who came yearly to my door in a pink bunny costume on a motor cycle just to say "Hello".
I remember a man who believed he was right on track and believed deeply in himself and in others abilities, I watched you Marlon, and knew I could do it too and therefore faced down my own biggest fears.
I remember a man who bought me a special extra small motor cycle helmet that would fit my head because you were so nervous that the other helmets you had did not fit me well enough and therefore would not provide me with enough protection. I remember the same man bundling me up in the dead of winter as a mother would do for her child with layers of clothing so I would be warm enough, although I could not move, and carried me onto his motor cycle so we could go dancing in the dead of winter. This was before he purchased the truck and alternate motor cycle so he would have more choices for transportation and more means for generating income. Marlon you were always concerned that I’d be more comfortable and warm for our various outings protective clothing for you and me and numerous other trips too long to enumerate.
Marlon, I remember your love for LAVA House, Radio Volta, Neighborhood Bike-works, Firehouse Bicycles EASpace, Mariposa Food Co-op, the list goes on and on. For your large myriad and network of friends and numerous other political organizations. You were a wonderful man, full of hopes and dreams.
Marlon you were looking forward to becoming an electrician’s apprentice. I am confident you are part of God’s angel’s electrical crew right now as I speak and know you are at peace and yet still yearning on this new path in the same manner you did in life. Marlon you left an indelible mark and I will never forget the way you handled life with such integrity, kindness and imagination. You are what we call in Jewish, a real mensch. God Bless you on your travels. I love you forever.
Rabbi Rachel Schoenfeld:
If anybody would like to speak and share memories. Its really a time for community and his family to share memories.
Tony:
I can remember back to when I was younger a boy and Marlon used to deliver newspapers and I would follow him around and it never seemed to bother him much. He’ll be missed by all. He was raised by a wonderful mother and family and he himself was a wonderful man and I’m very proud that he was my daughter’s uncle.

I’m Bob Bremmel. On Radio Volta I’m called Reverend Bookburn. For 4 ½ years Marlon produced my show and he was on it with me maybe 99% of the time and that’s most of my memories of him. I was arguably ridiculous in my requests of him. I would do theme shows and if I was to say this Sunday night is "Bush had an oilgasm" theme, could you find me this record about oil by some obscure band twenty years ago, where they made 100 copies of it. He’d come running up to me Sunday night in time for the show and say "I found a copy of this record" and just in time. Looking back, it is kind of hilarious some of the stuff I got him to do. When Trent Lott crashed and burned in Congress for his racist remarks I said "How do you feel about singing tonight?" and he was on practically no sleep, I think it was because of the dancing. That Sunday night I said "Could you be a character called "Trent Rot?" and I’ll be Strom and we are gonna sing "Sweet Ol’ Mississippi", my lyrics. And with no musical backing what so ever we just sat there with microphones singing this song, in public, preserved forever on tape. And it just seemed like nothing I would ask him would be too demanding or too odd. He was an angel, a ghost, the spirit of Bush prime family fest and if I asked him to do it, he did it. We had a lot of laughs.
For about 6 months or more we also did women’s clinics security. He came up on his motorcycle with an embroidered jacket, which made an impressive impression on the Cherry Hill police department and transplants from Mississippi. One of whom turned out to be an avid motor cycle fan and actually started asking for Marlon after he stopped coming that winter in the snow season. "Where’s that guy with the motor cycle?" so he could chat with him. Personally,"why do you want to know where he is?" But sure enough, he just wanted to chat with him and hang out with him and even in that kind of tense situation, he kept the laughter going. Like somebody threw a little plastic fetus at him and he was holding it up and saying "You know well I could make a little art thing" You know he was trying to think of funny ideas of what he could do with it. I think he did do something at the LAVA space where we moved to. There are probably too many radio stories, I shouldn’t try to dig into them. But that’s most of my interaction with him, plus a few rides, hanging out a couple times and 6 months to a year of clinic events together until the snow hit that winter, the winter before last, up to the Sunday night before last.
It was funny because the last couple months when he was less active in my life the radio show rather and more of the role of taking care of the building space that this station is in and this is perfect for my show. He’d walk in with a big cooking pot and say something like "I just made the greatest macaroni and cheese. Or come in with a book that had like a 10 cent price thing on the cover and say "I just found an erotic novel from 1920. Isn’t it your birthday?"
I guess the final radio related stuff I’ll say is, I had live guests who had of course much less interaction with him like they only met him one or two times coming on my show and even musical guests which in a small space of limited equipment is a challenge and he would just take duct tape and milk crates and say "you can go here and you do this and you can sing there". He would make it happen and every guest, bar none, said "That guy is so cool". They really dug him.
I got to get a tremendous glimpse of him as a person. His warm is obvious, his intelligence and compassion are all obvious. It was fun, it was an honor, I could go on with memories of him that will last the rest of my life and I loved him.
Su
On the night of May 1st 2002, I was on my way to a party at Firehouse Bicycles which was a bike shop that Marlon actually had started up and then passed on to people who he considered more competent in the business end of things. Marlon never was very good at holding onto money. He would always let it run through his fingers because he was always giving things away. So I was on my way to a party with my friend Maureen and we stopped at the Mariposa and I saw this man with a feather in his hat and I asked Maureen "Who is that handsome man there?" and she said that’s my friend Marlon. He’s really sweet. I said "are you Marlin like the fish?" He said "No, I’m Marlon like the Brando".
Within about 15 minutes of knowing each other, he told me that he liked contra dancing and that he was involved in radio and I’d been involved in college radio. So he invited me by "not Squat" that was to become kind of a second home to me for a little while and I went there the following Thursday and he showed me how to cut an audio using cool edit thread. Over the next several years he spent hours teaching me all the things about how to do radio and when there was a problem or something didn’t work I’d call him.
So that particular Saturday night he took me dancing on his motor cycle, not dancing on his motorcycle. He took me dancing, on his motor cycle. It was the first time that I’d ever ridden a motor cycle. And I guy with a motorcycle and a leather jacket with embroidery on the back. So I fell in love with him.
You know, I was down and out for about two years after I graduated from college. I was not able to hold a job. Not really able to pay my way. I was not really functioning and Marlon told me, "Su, Just come live with me." That’s what I did. And even though he never held onto money he always managed to provide everything that I needed, ‘cause he would pick it out of the trash, including this fancy gold watch that I wear to my office job every day. Found it in a food basket and you know everything, cleaning supplies, food, clothing and housing and furniture. He was like "Hey I brought you a desk" I thought you might need it. And I was never quite as kind to him as he was to me. Periodically we’d break up and then I’d have to get rid of everything that I owned because it was all things that he’d given to me.
But he was always there for me and I love him very much. He had so many friends. I didn’t really know very many people in Philly but everyone kind of figured, that
since I knew Marlon, I must be O.K.
There was a time when he was getting up really very early every morning to go to work, like at like 4 o’clock in the morning, right around the time I was coming home, because I would go to protests all day and this was when the Iraq war first started and I would get up and go to protests all day and spend the whole night cutting audio and then I’d come home and he was so sleepy and I’d just wake him up and he’d say "hi Suzy" and he’d get up and go to work and you know we don’t ever going to forget him, because he gave me the better part of three years.
Mary Lynn: Su, come here. It was great.
Su: Oh and he took me home to meet his Mom.
Mary Lynn: A couple of times.
Su: Yah
Manny
I ended up living in Maple Shade almost all my life. When I was 13 I moved into a house in Maple Shade and one of my best friends I met shortly after, Rick Yost lived right across the street from Marlon. So I used to come over all the time to Rick’s all the time cause we’d just work on things you know, power mowers, and parts, whatever and I met Marlon shortly afterwards and Marlon, he would always have a project, something in his yard, huge yard, who knows, motorcycles, mopeds, boats, you name it. I didn’t know what I was really doing but we did things all day all the time and then he started getting into motorcycles. He was a little bit older than I am. He would just talk about motor cycles all the time. He got me interested in motor cycles. Maybe one day, I’ll just take this up and get my first motor cycle and I’ll get my license and what not and he said "Well you can use my motor cycle to take your exam and I’ll teach you how to ride. I was 5"3" and 115 pounds. He had a huge motor cycle. He said "I’ll sit on the back". "OK". He teaches me how to ride a motor cycle. When I tell you I couldn’t touch the bottom with both legs. He trained me for a little bit and taught me how to ride and in the dead of winter went to take my motor cycle exam. He came with me, but he didn’t get on the bike. He followed me in my car. He gave me all his gear, I mean like gloves that came up to here (points to his elbow). I was just covered and he stayed with me and watched me take my exam. The guy came up to us and said "You know, I think this bike is too big for you, but I’ll let you take this exam. There is only one rule. If you stall, you fail. If you drop the bike, you fail and I’m not going to help you pick it up." So Marlon just said to me "Good Luck" and I’m on my way. So I take this exam and at the very end I do this thing on the braking part of the exam and I speed up and I low down and I slide the bike and Marlon’s looking and I catch the ground with just the tippy toes and I’m holding it, I’m shaking and I can’t hold it. The guy walks into the office, says I pass. I drop the bike and it falls down. Marlon comes running over and picks the bike up and the guy comes out looking around "nothings wrong". Since that day, he was the first person to introduce me to motor cycles besides Rick, I used to come over to his house probably once a week to work on something, anyway, it didn’t matter.
I mean I really didn’t know him the last 3-4 years of his life. He moved into Philly and we’re still in Maple Shade and we kind of lost contact, but he’d always stop by, always check up on me. Coincidentally he was part of a radio station at Burlington County College, 88.9 I believe it was called, and I became a student at BCC and he always talk to me about Radio.
I ended up majoring in electrical engineering that was another topic he could just talk hours about anything wire, voltage, amperage, and he would always stop by and check up on me because I would change majors and I didn’t really know what I wanted to do, I went back to engineering. I finally finished, its really sad, cause I just finished two weeks ago. Now he didn’t get to see that. Good man.
Rick
Let me see, where should I start? As Manny said, we’d always go over to Marlon’s yard, tinker with different things. Mostly of course he left car he know longer wanted to drive it. He taught us basically both how to drive, what speed to take puddles, pack the donuts and all that fun stuff. Most of my memories are of all the road trips he’d be taking me on. He’d go to Englishtown to pick up a couple of bikes, his father’s old LTD, and just a lot of graet times with Marlon on those road trips. Just he loved everybody. I’m sorry to see him go. As a lot of people say, he’ll always be in my heart.
Mary Lynn:
If no one else has anything else they’d like to add?
Are we out of time?
Rabbi Rachel Schoenfeld:
The thing is that we all have so much to say about Marlon and we all know we could keep telling stories about him for days and days and we will. We absolutely will. Later this evening after the more official part of tonight’s service is over we’ll go back to the house and sit around and look at pictures. And tell stories. So this is not at all a last time to tell stories. We are going to keep telling stories and keep the memories alive.
Mary Lynn:
I’d just like to say that I didn’t believe there’s this many people here. I turned around there’s more people in the back. I just wanted to thank everybody to come here tonight and that you all appreciated my son. Very unusual. He was so well loved and I’m just so very thankful that he had so many friends Its like they say, they appreciated me for giving, you know making him possible, and I appreciate all of you from all different walks of life. I’ve just been over whelmed, how many people he knew. You know, I just keep meeting more and more. I was speaking with one person, all of a sudden somebody else comes up and "oh, that’s you. OK he told me about you. You know". So I just want again to say, thank you very much. You all mean so much to me. It’s helping me get through this all right now. OK? Come back to my daughter and Tony’s house afterwards. We have refreshments. We can just keep on talking ‘til midnight. I don’t care. Thank you very much.
Rabbi Rachel Schoenfeld:
A few words to Marlon. Marlon, you are a hero to the last. Marlon, we’ve heard about you that you always wanted to help and you helped so many people in so many ways. You always wanted to make a difference with your life Marlon and it is clear that you have.
Marlon you even donated every possible organ. You always wanted to help and you are still helping.
Marlon yesterday your mother and your sister told me the values that they learned from you. They told me values that they are always going to carry on in their lives and Marlon I’m sharing that all of your family and your friends will carry the values on in your name as well. Your values. Your values of patience, tolerance, of understanding, of humor, of honesty, of the value of uniqueness and being yourself, the desire to help, the desire to be of service, the desire to always learn more and to always improve. The value of building a life that makes sense. A life that combines happiness, service and love.
Please join with me the 3rd reading on your sheets. Let us say
together that
We remember Marlon …

In Memory (reading)

Psalm 23: A Psalm of David (reading)

To Everything (Turn, turn, turn) (singing)

Spirit in the Sky (singing)

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